How to Break up
One of the questions we often get at our dating seminars is “how do I break up with someone who isn’t a good fit?” Many daters find themselves in relationships of convenience with no commitment and no end in sight. It’s hard to end a relationship that is comfortable, but not God’s best for a long-term commitment.
Because being alone is scary (and breaking up is hard to do) we stall and stall and wait and hope for something to change.
I (Samantha) ended one particularly bad relationship in an unconventional way.
A Different Approach?
And it’s no magic formula.
I simply prayed for God to give me a way out.
The relationship wasn’t going well. He wanted marriage and I wasn’t even sure I liked him, but I felt trapped because of some ill-advised financial intermingling. I knew God needed to intervene to get me to move on.
Within twenty-four hours of my prayer, the guy was gone thanks to a divine miracle. A misunderstanding turned into a fiasco and instead of trying to fix it, I let it rip the relationship apart –exactly what I had prayed for.
It needed to be his idea for me to recoup the money I had loaned him. (By the way…never lend money to a new boyfriend or girlfriend unless you plan on kissing it goodbye)
Sometimes having the courage to break up is the hardest part. But I believe God will give us the strength if we ask for it.
And even when we are a big wuss, like I was, God offered me an opportunity to get out. And that was all I needed.
Here are some more ways, but we still recommend starting with prayer.
Tips to end a bad relationship:
- Find a neutral place to meet. Do not meet at his or her home.
- This means you have to meet in person! Texting or calling is for Jr. High.
- Schedule a meeting with a friend about an hour later so you have an excuse to leave and the conversation doesn’t drag on.
- Repeat over and over like a broken record. “It’s just not going to work out. “
- Do not use blame or shame.
- Be empathetic but do not try to fix the pain. Walk away.
- Un-friend on social media after the break up.
- Do not kiss goodbye or be close physically.
- Avoid the old places you both frequented for a time.
Do you have any good advice for making a break up less painful?
Phot Credit: Dian Waskita
