Archives for June 2013

What 81% of Singles are Not Looking For

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Sometimes we think everyone wants the same things we do.  We ERRONEOUSLY believe people, even good Christian folks, go on dates to look for a lifelong partner.  We think everyone wants a “Happily Ever After.”

Think again.  New research is revealing only 19% of daters are looking for a person to marry. 

Youza!  If this is true, then about 81% of the matches we get online are looking for something else.

Here are the results of the study taken from Top Dating Tips

For me, dating is mainly about….. ? 

1. Love 21% 
2. Marriage 19% 
3. Friendship 8% 
4. Partnership 6% 
5. Sex 19% 
6. Company 3% 
7. Social life 3% 
8. Romance 12% 
9. Conversation 3% 
10. Sharing 6% 
Have you ever dated more than one person simultaneously ?

1. Yes 53% 
2. No 33% 
3. Don’t Know 13%

Would you like to get married ? 

1.) Yes 44% 
2.) No 12% 
3.) Maybe 32% 
4.) Not again 4% 
5.) Don’t know 8%

Where is the best place to meet new people ? 

1.) Bar 18% 
2.) Club 11% 
3.) Beach 4% 
4.) Church 2% 
5.) Social club 4% 
6.) Mall 4% 
7.) Internet 18% 
8.) Work 22% 
9.) Sport 7% 
10.) Other 9%

So why do you date?

Dating Tip #1 How to Flee Like Joseph

woman-chases-man

Ever meet a woman (or guy) who seems irresistible?

You are in a dating relationship with them and there is intense CHEMISTRY. Or maybe she lives down the hall and gives you “the look” every time you take out your trash. Maybe it’s your male trainer at the gym whose hands accidentally brush up your side when he adjusts your posture.

They put out the vibe that they are AVAILABLE. READY to RUMBLE. SEXUALLY OPEN.

And let’s be honest, it’s tempting.

But you want to follow Christ. You are committed to walking in purity. You know better, right?

I imagine Joseph felt this way too.

Potiphar’s wife was more than likely pretty hot.

She was a wealthy Egyptian woman and the wife of a high-ranking official. This gal probably had all the time in the world to primp, work out at the “Desert Sand’s” 24 Fitness, and practice the smoky eye with her Cleopatra line of makeup.

She certainly had time on her hands to lust after Joseph, her handsome and well built man-servant.

It would have been easy for Joseph to hook up with her when his boss wasn’t looking.

It’s always easy to say “yes” to pleasure.

When Tim and I were dating, there were many nights where our kisses on the sofa turned into lingering hugs and the temperature rose a notch in the room.

And choices had to be made.

Tim’s favorite method of recourse in those steamy situations?

FLEE LIKE JOSEPH!

He would excuse himself to go to the restroom and call me from the car ten minutes later.

Half the time I never even knew he was struggling. A smoldering kiss for a girl doesn’t have the same effect as it does for a dude.

But Tim knew his limits and sometimes running was his only option.

When Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Joseph -Joseph ran. And the temptress had such a hold on him she ripped off part of his clothes.

Temptation is like that. It grabs on tight. It wants us to surrender.

But God will give us the strength to flee if we seek him.

It helps to have a plan to deal with these situations BEFORE they erupt.

Knowing your triggers and knowing HOW YOU WILL DEAL with the temptation before it arises will give you the tools to navigate sticky situations.

  • Maybe you don’t drink alcohol on a date with this person -until you make it down the aisle.
  • Maybe you have a group of guys or girls checking in with you and encouraging you to date differently.
  • Maybe you set a curfew and stick to it.
  • Maybe you get a same-sex trainer.
  • Maybe you take a longer route to take out the trash.

Tim and I made it down the aisle without sexual compromise. It wasn’t easy but the truly good things in life rarely are.

IT IS POSSIBLE and IT IS WORTH IT!

Dating Tip #1 -When the temperature get’s hot, FLEE like Joseph!

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified:that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this manner no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or a sister.” –1 Thessalonians 4: 3-6

 

 

How to be Your Own (Single) Person

Fisher COVER - Loves Me NotWe are so excited to introduce Renee Fisher to you!  Renee’s mission in life is to “spur others forward” (Hebrews 10:24) using the lessons learned from her own trials to encourage others in their walk with God.  Please enjoy this article on How to be Your Own (Single) Person and please pick up her new ebook Loves Me Not on Amazon and Barnes & Noble today.

 

Do you know how to be your own (single) person?

Sometimes the hardest person to get along with is you. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of people we just can’t get along with (ask Shelley, she wrote a book on it)! But when it comes to being comfortable in our own skin, it can be tough.
Maybe you’re afraid of being alone.

Maybe I’m more co-dependent than I want to admit.

I wrote in my new book, Loves Me Not,

“Instead of letting my bitterness [over a breakup] get me down, my confusion led me deep into the heart of Texas.

I decided it was time for me to be my own person.

I moved to Texas and joined a nine-month-long Discipleship Training School called Ambassadors For Christ and said goodbye to my friends and family. I couldn’t wait to learn more about writing and the Word. I had so many more questions than answers. I thought I had heard God right about [my ex]. I thought that He said he was “the one” for me.

I was wrong again.

How could I be so stupid?

I hadn’t yet learned it’s actually possible to hear what you only want to hear. It’s easy to mistake God’s voice for my own because all I could hear was the sound of my heartbreak. I understood God’s comfort, but I had yet to understand His ways.”

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe it’s been years since you’ve been single, or maybe the pain from a previous breakup still threatens to bring tears to your eyes.

An important lesson we need to learn along the road to adulthood is how to listen to God’s voice instead of our own.

Who does God say that I am?

I guarantee you–after you hear how much God really loves you and has a plan for your life–then no one else’s words, plans, or ideas will matter. Plus, it’s easier to be the version God wants you to be versus the other copies–because they’re all carbon, or fake.

When I was in early 20’s I had all these grand ideas of what I wanted to do with my life, and who I wanted to become.

I never thought in a million years that serving God on the mission’s field wasn’t where God wanted me.

Have you ever felt like a failure at serving God?

Maybe you thought you heard the voice of God (like I did) only to find out it wasn’t where He wanted you.

Be encouraged my friends!

God never wastes a step on the journey towards becoming His child. Since we are made in the image of God, there’s nothing we can do to surprise Him–even when we think we’re perfect (he’s not surprised to find out that we’re not).

I recently wrote a book entitled Loves Me Not (link coming soon), and I’d love for you to read it!

I wanted to focus solely on heartbreak and how to find healing God’s way. If you or anyone you know is currently experiencing a broken relationship or a breakup–I encourage you to pick up the eBook for only $2.99. (I will send over the link once its live on Amazon and Barnes and Noble).

Here are a few benefits you will gain from reading this book:

 

+ Why Guarding Your Heart Isn’t Enough

+ Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”?
+ Desperate Singles
+ Breaking Up With “The One”
+ Why Changing Your Significant Other Won’t Work
+ The Right Way To Breakup
+ How To Handle A Breakup
+ How To Be Your Own (Single) Person
+ Why Breakups Are Hard
+ He (Jesus) Loves You!

Relationships are very important to me.

God had me wait over twelve years to meet my husband. It’s probably because God knew how long it would take to become the person He wanted me to be–instead of the person I thought I wanted to be. I can’t wait for you to read it and be encouraged.

 reneefisher

Renee Fisher, the Devotional Diva®, is the spirited speaker and author of Faithbook of Jesus, Not Another Dating Book, Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me, and Loves Me Not. A graduate of Biola University, Renee and her husband, Marc, live in California with their dog, Star. Learn more about Renee at www.devotionaldiva.com.