I’m plodding away on the treadmill at the gym, when a “reality” real estate show pops up on the screen. Halfway through the episode, they highlight two different scenarios of single male brokers out on dates.
And quite honestly, both were examples of “how to blow it.”
Both of these guys started out well—they asked a woman out and she said yes. Good job guys! That’s the first hurdle. But it went downhill fast.
Guy #1. This young man is a “nice guy” type. He’s funny and geeky and cute in a New York sort of way. Since I see his HUGE commissions on the listings, I know he’s a successful and confidant businessman in real estate. As far as looks go, dater #1 isn’t the most physically attractive guy, but he’s nicely groomed and put together, and quite frankly most women aren’t as image conscious as men, so he’s certainly attractive enough. His date is a classy gal. I can tell she really wants to like him, but their date is challenging to say the least.
Here’s what went wrong:
- He’s EARLY!
He calls her thirty minutes ahead to make sure she is ready and then picks her up fifteen minutes early. Obvious OCD is not attractive. Guys, please! Don’t arrive early. Your date is trying to get ready and look pretty for you. Don’t mess up this process! On the other hand, don’t show up late either. Be respectful and arrive on time. Call if you are running late.
- He’s indecisive
When the waiter comes by to get their drinks, he keeps deferring back to the woman. Guys, ladies hate that! Sure, give us a say in the decision, but please know your own mind! Do you like red wine, a cocktail, beer, a soda, or water? Do you enjoy meat or fish? Figure this out before you go on a date because we don’t want to wait (along with the server) while you have a mental crisis at the table.
(And for the record, Tim and I suggest not drinking on dates so you have a clear head and don’t act idiotic—but that’s another blog)
- He has zero social skills.
I’m not talking about “game” here or even charm, it’s just plain awkward the entire date! There are long gaps in between their conversation. He doesn’t seem interested in her. When he does talk out loud, it’s about the bygone days when he was overweight and pimply. This guy can barely get out a sentence because he’s so insecure, which he wasn’t in the business realm. I wanted to crawl through the screen and rescue him! Clearly he lacks communication skills with women, which can be learned. If painful shyness with the opposite sex is an issue for you, seek counseling and find a good dating coach.
The date ended with him asking her out again and she declined. I’m amazed she made it to dessert. Dater#1 I am rooting for you. You just a few dating skills!
Dater #2
This guy is also a wealthy New York real estate broker. He’s very attractive and he knows it—horribly arrogant and boastful—and I want to vomit watching him get his “game” on. He too is well dressed and appears intelligent, sneaky and of low moral character. The girl he meets for dinner is bursting out of her low cut dress. She is overtly sexual and I honestly thought, despite his douchiness, that she was pretty trashy even for him.
Here’s What Went Wrong:
- Bad Manners!
He’s late. By the time he arrives she’s already had a few cocktails. Now maybe he planned that because she’s raring to go? He also takes phone calls during the date—LAME! He checks out other women who walk by and even slyly asks another one out when she’s not looking. Yuck, yuck, yuck!
- He has an Agenda
Must I spell it out for you? This is a high class hook-up. It felt like a college frat party swapping out the solo cups for a good wine and lovely ambiance. It wasn’t about meeting someone new or treating another human being with dignity and respect. This was about sex. Period.
- He doesn’t respect women
Guys, if this is your issue—because you are damaged by a bad relationship, or numbed out from porn, try and limit the collateral damage of women you take out until you get some healing. Find a counselor, get your heart right with God and when you can see women as valuable once again, then try dating.
Their date ended up with sex in the limo. Her clothes were off before the door was shut and they had to fuzz it out of the screen.
I’m guessing he calls the other girl from the restaurant in the morning.
Have you had a bad first date experience?
