It wasn’t too long ago when I was a single mom. Let me restate that. I was a Christian single mom.
The “Christian” moniker alone made me pickier than most gals because I wanted more than an attractive warm body with a job, I wanted an attractive warm body with a heart for Jesus and a job.
(And yes I am OVERSIMPLIFYING on what I wanted in a man because honesty, intelligence, passion, generosity, love of family, etc… were all on my list of must-haves as well)
It’s not an easy gig being a single parent. I went on dates every other weekend. I didn’t sleep much and I was an extreme Starbucks addict. In between caring for my kiddos and football and ballet and cheer and keyboard, and the million other activities my kids love, I looked for dating candidates. I searched at lunch break via Match.com, networked at Christian singles events and on Sunday’s at church.
I had one eye on my kids and the other eye roving for a suitable Christian male. I searched long and hard for the good ones because quite frankly, there was a lot at stake -namely my darling munchkins.
After a few years in the dating scene, I noticed how certain guys backed off as soon as I mentioned I had kids. Eventually, it came to the point where after I shook hands and stated my name, I blurted out my single mama status. If a guy was going to run, it was better to have him flee after a breif meeting over coffee then waste both our time and effort on an evening out.
I met my pastor husband at church. And even though he didn’t have kids he was willing to take a risk on a single mom and love my kids as his own. (Thank you Jesus!)
Now happily remarried, I often hear the plight of single moms and dads who feel like they get discriminated against as a single parent.
I know, I know…it’s lame! I remember all too well.
So, I decided to write a series on the benefits of dating a single parent and champion our cause.
Because I think single parents are a hidden treasure! And I know there are Christian singles without kids, who with a little encouragement could change a FAMILY for good.
Yes, the kids are around ALL the time. But these little monkeys might surprise you if you give them a chance!
Reason 1: Depth of Life Experiences
A Single Parent Has Seen a Few Things
A single parent has navigated a far rockier terrain than the average young man or woman. From sleepless nights, to dealing with a cranky ex, to juggling a career and kids and dating –a single parent has an easier time putting things in perspective. If the worst thing that ever happened to a guy or gal is not getting into their “A” List law school or losing a few Z’s to wake up for the Nordstrom’s half-yearly sale, they might also have a tendency to freak out if their significant other loses his job or some other devastating but non-life threatening occurrence.
A single parent has already been through a sizable amount of suffering and trauma. They know what is worth crying about and what is spilled milk because their toddler does it on daily basis at meal-time. They have a PhD in the school of hard knocks and they have learned how to survive and thrive on their own and yet still be responsible for little Jr.
A single parent won’t waste their time on trivial matters. They have a sharp compass and wisdom tucked away in their pocket. They have empathy and development of character which can only be learned through trial and conflict. A single parent has seen pain and joy and experienced life on a deeper level.
Sounds like a good reason to consider dating a single parent! But wait…I’ve got nine more. Stay tuned for reason #2 in my next post.
–Samantha
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