Dating Differently
Trying to date differently in a culture where sex reigns supreme is difficult to say the least, which is why we believe it’s time to consider bringing back a few of the more traditional modes of affection which seems to have disappeared with Happy Days as modern promiscuity rolled on in.
Christian dating can be immensely pleasurable if you make it less about what you are missing out on and instead focus on what you will gain.
Here are a few goodies we think are worth revisiting!
Words of Affirmation
I’ll never forget the poetry my husband wrote me when we were dating. The man was so smitten he burst out in smiles, song and sonnets. But part of this verbal expression was due to the reality of holding back in the physical realm. Because we weren’t physically intimate it forced Tim to express his love in more cerebral ways.
The Look
If the eyes are the window to our souls, then let’s pull out those peepers from behind the shades and use them to show “the one” you dig how much you like them.
Ladies, how about batting those lovely lashes? Gaze down demurely at your date and then look up him like a doe-eyed Bambi? Give him the look that says, “Are you man enough to wait for this hotness?”
Guys, how about the direct look of intention, longing and desire that makes a woman weak in her knees? Think Zoolander and then do exactly the opposite!
(When Tim and I were dating and he looked at me like this I panted…)
Holding Hands
Why oh why has this one disappeared? When Tim and I went on our first few dates, before the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, he would often pick up my hand and play with my fingers. The touch of this man who I deeply desired felt like a million bolts of electricity surging through my body.
Guys, take her hand and try caressing it. Don’t turn into a mini hand-sex thing; just give her didgets some sweet finger cuddles. It’s innocent and fun and with the right girl –almost as good as sex (ok, not so much but still worth trying in the interim).
Try taking a long walk, picking up her hand and communicating your affection with a love language that represents support, unity, respect and relationship.
The Nuzzle
Long before I got my first kiss, Tim would lean in and very close to my face, whisper in my ear or nuzzle my cheek. Again, I went bananas (inside of course). When you take away the big sex stuff, the little stuff takes on much deeper meaning.
The First Kiss
Some Christians believe in not kissing while dating. We don’t fall into that camp. We believe once you are in a committed relationship moving towards marriage, kissing just might be the best way to spend an evening. Watch some movie, kiss, more movie, kiss…
The only problem with kissing is how easily it morphs into making out and full body hugs and the next thing you know the two of you have to be pulled apart with a crow bar. So, be cautious when kissing turns into renting a hotel room.
Tim and I didn’t drink while we were dating because Tim knew his limits and understood he couldn’t control himself physically around me after a few glasses of wine.
We also had a self-imposed curfew and sometimes Tim just got up and ran home like Joseph. I didn’t even know he was struggling until he called me from his car.
Remember the movie Pretty Woman? Julia Roberts, who played a prostitute wouldn’t kiss her clients because it was too intimate of an act. I get that.
It’s because kissing means something. It communicates affection and tenderness or conversely greed or selfishness. Kissing sends a million different messages.
Save your first kiss far beyond the obligatory walk to the front door at the end of the first date. Wait a few weeks, or gasp, a month. Make it mean something special.
And then kiss your boyfriend and girlfriend every single day to discover if you have chemistry and connection.
Do you have any old school methods to communicate affection without sex?
–Samantha
Photo Credit: Source: kissssing.blogspot.com via Jesse on Pinterest
